Correspondence
by reesefries
Summary: Alex and Piper talk and banter via email after a high-spirited encounter at a bar. [AU]
1. Laura Ingalls Wilder

A/N: Hey, everyone. So this entire fic will attempt to deliver the story of the lives of Alex and Piper...via email. AU—the details of which will be slowly revealed in the coming chapters. It was 2 AM when I had this crazy idea, so please bear with me. Things will start slow and more details about the two will be revealed as you read along. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure if this will hold up in the long run, but I wanted to give it a shot anyway. Furthermore, due to the nature of this piece, you can expect (slightly) frequent updates from me—like how emails usually work. Also, jsyk, this is set in the present time. Finally, I profusely apologize for the fact that my notes are longer than the actual text. I am merely trying to set the grounds for you guys to fully understand the entire concept. I promise to have less of these notes in the future installments. Please do review and let me know what you think!

* * *

9/6/14, 3:34 AM

* * *

**To:** Piper  
**Subject:** Laura Ingalls Wilder

* * *

Hey.

I know I just dropped you off, like, 10 minutes ago but I really just want to tell you (again) that I had fun tonight. Hell, "fun" is an understatement.

Also, I have a strong feeling that you're a fucking lightweight, so don't forget to take some aspirin and drink lots of water.

Sleep well, kid.

Alex


	2. Not a lightweight

A/N: I decided to give you guys the first few parts all at once to give you a clearer picture of what I'm trying to achieve. Please don't forget to leave comments. I would really appreciate it!

* * *

9/6/14, 8:08 AM

* * *

**To: **Alex  
**Subject: **Not a lightweight

* * *

Hey, Alex.

First of all, I also had a really great time last night, just so you know. And thanks for going out of your way to drop me off at my place.

Second of all, I am not a fucking lightweight.

Okay—I may be having a terrible headache this morning and everything may sound like they're on full volume, but I am _not_ a lightweight. You must have slipped something in my drinks because I am normally not like this.

But if you must know, I slept really well last night.

P


	3. Good morning, sunshine

9/6/14, 8:29 AM

* * *

**To: **Piper  
**Subject:** Good morning, sunshine.

* * *

Wow. For a lightweight, you're up early. Got somewhere to be?

A

_P.S. For the record, I did _not_ slip you anything. Although, I wish I did..._


	4. Sobering up

9/6/14, 8:45 AM

* * *

**To: **Alex  
**Subject:** Sobering up

* * *

I woke up early against my will because my phone wouldn't stop ringing. I'm telling you, my mother can be really annoying.

I also need to show up for a lunch meeting with a client, so I need to sober up if I want to keep my job.

And what the fuck do you mean that you wish you did?

P


	5. Slipping

9/6/14, 8:51 AM

* * *

**To: **Piper  
**Subject:** Slipping

* * *

I wasn't talking about slipping you drugs, Piper.  
Think lower. ;)

A

* * *

A/N: I will post the next series of email exchanges (they will most likely be longer) when I get enough reviews, so please please _please_ do leave a comment!


	6. Charming

9/6/14, 8:58 AM

* * *

**To: **Alex  
**Subject: **Charming

* * *

Well, aren't you charming?  
Are you always like this in the morning?

P

* * *

A/N: Huge thanks to users **Vawesome**, **izzielg**, **endofeverything**, **IrishCourtney**, **8isgreat08**, **OITNBEmma**, **derekjeter2**, and **VillageVoice412** for reviewing my work so far. I'm glad you guys are digging it! More coming your way soon!


	7. See for yourself

9/6/14, 9:07 AM

* * *

**To: **Piper  
**Subject: **See for yourself

* * *

Wouldn't you like to know? You should see for yourself next time.

A


	8. Next time

9/6/14, 9:16 AM

* * *

**To: **Alex  
**Subject: **Next time

* * *

Hmm. And when would that be?

P


	9. Your call

9/6/14, 9:25 AM

* * *

**To: **Piper  
**Subject: **Your call

* * *

Well, that totally depends on you, my dear.  
Are you free at 8 tonight?

A


	10. Eager beaver

9/6/14, 9:53 AM

* * *

**To: **Alex  
**Subject: **Eager beaver

* * *

Wow, someone's in a rush. Are you really _that_ eager to leave America before the apocalypse comes?

I'm not sure yet, to be honest. My availability will depend on how my meeting goes today. I'll let you know. Why, what did you have in mind for tonight?

By the way, I still don't understand why you insisted on exchanging _emails_ instead of exchanging _numbers_. Is this like a little fetish thing of yours or are you just a complete dork? I mean, I'm not complaining, but why not talk over the phone?

P


	11. Fetish

A/N: I really appreciate all the feedback I'm getting, so here is a longer entry for you guys!

* * *

9/6/14, 11:16 AM

* * *

**To: **Piper  
**Subject: **Fetish

* * *

Kid, I am telling you, after last night, I won't be leaving America any time soon.

Well, not until Monday anyway. I need to fly out to London to settle a business deal with a certain indie alternative band. I'd tell you who they are, but I signed a contract so I need to keep my mouth shut. Wouldn't want me to get sued, would you? Don't worry, though, I won't be gone for too long. Two days tops.

I was thinking about taking you to this little Italian place that I like. You _do_ like pizza, right? 'Cause if you don't, we're gonna have a _huge_ problem, kid.

So to answer your question...

First point of discussion: The glasses may say otherwise, but I am not a dork.

Second of all, the email thing is not a fucking fetish of mine either, you crazy woman. That conversation is for another time, I promise you. And don't you dare deny the fact that you want to know because you wouldn't have brought it up in the first place if you didn't. ;)

With my line of work, my phone never stops buzzing and it gets to the point where I tend to ignore calls and messages from my clients because I'm just so fucking stressed. When I'm on the verge of killing someone out of sheer frustration, I leave my work phone with my assistant so he can deal with all my shit and I continue working on my laptop. Some clients who have become friends, however, are smart enough to contact me on my personal phone. It can get annoying after a while, so I usually just switch my phone to airplane mode but still have it connected to the Wi-Fi.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that I'm not a big fan of text messaging either. The experience is too...I don't know—fleeting? You can call me pretentious or whatever, I don't care. You see, when you're texting, you're more concerned with what you're receiving and less concerned with what you're sending. With emails, at least, you're expected to take the time to formulate whatever it is you want to say—a luxury that you don't always get to enjoy over the phone. There's no rush. Your messages tend to be more well-thought of. I also like things straight to the point. When you're on the phone with someone, you're expected to go through all the niceties and small-talk, and I want to avoid that as much as possible. To be fair, you can still be blunt on the phone, but that's just gonna make everyone think you're a bitch, and I can't afford to scare away any potential clients. I'm also not the clingy type, so I'm not gonna force others to talk to me when they don't want to.

For the more obvious reasons, calling and text messaging costs you money. I travel a lot and that shit is expensive. I'm not a fucking cheapskate, though, mind you. I just want to spend my time and money where they're worth.

I also feel like people are inclined to reveal more information in email rather than over the phone. It's more sincere and it's more personal. And if it makes you feel any better, I don't just send lengthy emails to anybody (apart from official business matters, of course). I do, however, make sure that I keep up with my mom, a few close friends and, now, you.

I want to get to know you better, Piper Chapman. I would like to do that the right way, and I really hope that you would let me.

Going back to the fetish thing—you know what I really think? I think that _you're_ the one with the fetish. Hmm, I bet you don't even remember the nature of the things you were whispering to me last night, after one too many shots.

Seriously, though, if you really want to hear my voice so much, you don't have to ask. That's why I left you a little something in the left pocket of your blazer. You would have found it earlier if you had bothered to check and if you weren't so hungover.

Remember, it's _your call_.

Alex

* * *

A/N: I hope I did not disappoint you guys with this update. I wasn't sure if it was good enough for publishing, but do let me know what you think of it nonetheless. It's very difficult to write about the characters' tone and emotions without being able to narrate how they are acting in real life (e.g. moments when Alex is smirking, when Piper is laughing, when they're joking, when they're sarcastic, etc.), so I hope you guys understand the struggle I'm going through. If you have any questions or suggestions for me, please let me know in the reviews or send me a private message. The next update will be up as soon as I get enough feedback from you guys!

S/O to **VillageVoice412**, **impavid fool**, **8isgreat08**, and **IrishCourtney** for reviewing the previous chapter! Cheers!


	12. Sylvia Plath

9/7/14, 9:45 PM

* * *

**To: **Alex  
**Subject: **Sylvia Plath

* * *

Why you slipped me an actual _cellphone_ instead of a cellphone _number_, I will never understand. I call my own phone with it and I see that you've already saved your number in my phone as well. You got weird moves, Alex Vause. What are you trying to achieve?

I'm still calling _bullshit_ on you claiming that you're not a dork, though.

Only a dork would save her number in another person's phone as _Sylvia Plath_. Spouting out random poems while inebriated does not make you poetic. You give yourself too much credit.

Although, I have to admit, listening to you recite poems in perfect French got me feeling some kind of way.

And, for fuck's sake, only a dork would make a reference to _fucking_ Mamma Mia while trying to describe how pizza tastes like. Where the hell did that even come from?

By the way, you left your jacket when you dropped me off last night. I noticed it lying on my couch when I got home today. It was neatly folded, which tells me two things: you're either a neat-freak or you left it on purpose so that you'd have a reason to visit again.

Very sneaky, Alex.

If you want it back, you're gonna have to pick it up yourself. Until then, it's mine.

Be safe.

Come back to me soon, yeah? x

P

* * *

A/N: This is _long_ overdue and I really apologize for that. I'm not 100% happy with this and I don't know if I ever will be, so whatever. Also, I'm sorry if this isn't as long as the previous entry. Please don't forget to leave a comment. I really want to know what you guys think. Positive and negative reviews are welcome. They really do help me. The next update is ready and will be up soon — as to when that will be, it's up to you. :)

Special thanks to **izzielg**, **VillageVoice412**, **ejm137**, **OITNBEmma**, **excedrinpersonality, **and to the **Guest user** for reviewing the last chapter!


	13. Safe and sound

9/9/14, 1:38 AM

* * *

**To: **Piper  
**Subject: **Safe and sound

* * *

Today was wild.

After getting picked up from the airport, we had to rush to the other side of town in order to meet the manager of the band. I'm not going to bore you with all details, but this is basically how it all came down:

Little Miss Manager _forgot _she had an appointment with us and the only way we could have the deal done within the day was if we went out of our way to chase after her. Fucking bitch, if you ask me, but everything's settled now, so there's that.

She did give us free VIP tickets to the band's show tonight to make up for all the trouble that we went through, though.

They were amazing, Pipes. You would have loved them. I promise, I will take you to see them when they tour in the States. I will even get you front-row seats if it means that you will agree to move on from your Hilary Duff phase.

Don't argue. I saw "Come Clean" set on repeat on your iPod. _Seriously_, Piper?

Anyway, after the show, I had a late dinner with John (my assistant) and Poussey (co-producer) and we went out for drinks afterwards. The London rain was a bitch tonight, so we did not get to do a lot of sightseeing. We're hoping to go around the city in the morning.

I'm settled in my hotel room now. I'm so fucking exhausted. I ordered room service a few minutes ago and the guy on the other line was like, "Okay, _sir_, it'll be up in a moment."

The fucking bastard isn't getting any tip from me, that's for sure.

But enough about me.

What has been going on with you, Piper? Did you finally get to deal with the annoying couple you were bitching about last time? Did you finally get to kick that Jewish boy's ass yet?

By the way, I have to work on the 10th, so I can't pick up my jacket that I _forgot_ at your place until the 11th or 12th. Don't fret, I'll be back before you know it.

I'll see you soon then.

A

_P.S. Mamma Mia will always be relevant, okay? Meryl Streep is a fucking goddess._

* * *

A/N: So I have a few things that I want to discuss. Please do continue reading, as your answers to my question at the end will be very crucial in determining the direction of where this piece is going.

Before I dove into this fic, I knew for a fact that I was going to face problems in the long run. For instance, it's expected that Piper and Alex would obviously get to know each other better and will ultimately end up spending more time together in person — ergo, less talking over email.

Moreover, since the nature of this piece indicates that the readers only get to know about Piper's and Alex's lives based from what they say on their exchanges, what happens to them "in real life" when they are together will constantly be a gray area. This is why I always try to see to it that I leave enough context clues in their exchanges to give you guys an idea of what is really happening behind the scenes.

With the lack of specific and descriptive narrations, I am letting you, as readers, interpret and form the characters in your own minds.

Now, I honestly don't know if that will continue to work in the future installments or if you guys would still want to read that kind of writing style.

So the million-dollar question is this: **Would you rather I continue to write in ****_pure_**** email form or would you rather I write "filler" chapters, where I narrate their real-life events?**

To be honest, I want to keep writing in pure email form for consistency's sake. I mean, I've already survived 13 chapters anyway (despite, admittedly, fucking it up a few times — and I am terribly sorry for that). I also want to maintain this unconventional form of fic that some of you may not be used to.

Nonetheless, I want to know what _you_ want, so please tell me what you think in the reviews, along with your thoughts on this update. I would really appreciate to hear from you. Your past reviews have been really helpful so far, and I am extremely grateful for that.

Should you have any further questions, leave them in the reviews as well or feel free to hit me up via PM or bug me on Twitter (reesefries).

Special thanks to the following people for taking the time to give me their feedback on the previous chapter: **VillageVoice412**,** IrishCourtney**,** izzielg**,** impavid fool**,** Marissalyn**,** shrub-skinz**,** Cherishedngadsden**, and two **Guest **users. The next update is ready. Let me know when you want it. I love you all! x


	14. The Pentagon

A/N: You asked for filler chapters. Your wish is my command. Enjoy.

* * *

9/10/14, 8:00 AM

* * *

_I woke up like this  
__I woke up like this  
__We flawless  
__Ladies, tell 'em  
__I woke up like this  
__I woke up like this  
__We flawless_

The alarm went off, causing Beyoncé's flawless voice to erupt from Piper's phone, waking up the blonde, who lay face down on the bed wearing nothing but an oversized white tee. She groaned while trying to blindly fumble around the bed looking for the thing that woke her from her deep slumber.

In her sleepy state, and being the natural-born klutz that she is, she accidentally pushed her phone off the edge of the bed. The device fell over with the back of the phone hitting the hardwood floor, causing a loud thud.

_Thank God I finally bought a case for this thing_, Piper thought as she groaned and slung her right arm over the bed to pick up her phone. She furrowed her eyebrows and took a moment to inspect the back of the case to look for any cracks and scratches before turning the alarm off. Thankfully, there were none. Piper let out a sigh of relief while admiring the digital painting of Benedict Cumberbatch's face as Sherlock Holmes, which adorned her phone's case.

Piper scrolled through her notifications and saw a missed call and a text from her mother. She had a client meeting in about an hour and a half and she couldn't afford to be late, so she decided that she would read and reply to the message later. With her phone still in her hand, Piper let out a yawn and stretched on the bed before she got up and walked towards the bathroom.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror, groaning as she ran her fingers over the dark circles under her eyes and willing them to disappear.

_I look like shit_, Piper thought. _Why can't I ever wake up looking like Beyoncé?_

With an exasperated sigh, Piper turned away from the mirror and focused her attention to the portable speaker that rested on the shelf right above the toilet. She pushed the power button and synced her iPhone to it. In a matter of seconds, Beyoncé's beautiful vocals echoed against her bathroom walls.

Piper easily slipped out of her white shirt, tossed it to the laundry basket by the door, and got in the shower. While waiting for the water to warm up, she stared at the blue triangles that lined her shower curtains. For what seemed like an eternity, Piper just stood there, lost in her thoughts about her own aspirations in life.

* * *

Patience. Piper needed to work on her patience.

It was a miracle she even got to leave the pastry shop without exploding and throwing things on the way out. Piper was at a seven on her famous Chapman Temper Scale and it took her everything that she had to finally bid her clients goodbye in the nicest way possible. She wasn't even angry about what the clients wanted her to do. She just couldn't stomach how incredibly annoying they were. Hell, to say that they were annoying was an understatement.

It was already half past 10 in the morning when Piper checked her watched and she wondered if she was too late for work. Not that it mattered anyway because she did own the studio and she could just come in anytime she wanted. Nonetheless, Piper did not like the idea of looking like she was slacking off.

It took Piper fifteen minutes to walk from the pastry shop to her studio's block. She was standing outside her studio's building when she thought that she needed to calm her nerves and get another cup of coffee before showing up for work, so she walked across the street and went into her favorite coffee shop.

The aroma of coffee beans wafted out from the café and Piper immediately felt herself calm down. She swung the door open and was immediately greeted by familiar faces. She took off her wayfarer and tried to put on an innocent smile when she realized who was on duty this morning.

"Hey, Piper! How's it going?" greeted Philip, an overly friendly barista, who made it a habit to make a move on Piper with every chance he got.

"Hi, Philip. I'm fine. You?" Piper didn't really care about Philip. He was nice, but he always seemed like he tried too hard. If Piper recalled correctly, he has already hit on her at least three times this week. Just the other day, he wrote his number on the sleeve of Piper's coffee, which she didn't see until she saw the cup in the trash bin after she threw it out. She decided to ignore it anyway. Moreover, Philip was not her type.

"All good. Having the usual today?" Philip inquired.

"Yeah, but make it a double shot please." Piper replied as she took her wallet out from her Louis Vuitton bag.

"You look nice today, Piper. I love your blazer! Where'd you get it?" asked a female barista named Jaymee, who Piper adored.

Under the black blazer, Piper was wearing a white shirt with thin navy blue stripes. She paired it with her favorite frayed denim shorts with the pockets hanging low. She wore light brown open-toed strappy heels and her blonde locks hung low underneath a black floppy brim fedora.

"Aww. Thanks, Jaymee. It was a gift from a friend." Piper replied with a small smile, as she made her way to the bar to claim her drink.

After making small talk with Jaymee, Piper finally bid her goodbyes and made her way across the street to her studio.

* * *

Piper's studio was on the top floor of the building. It was not as big as she initially wanted, but it was on the corner and was relatively bigger than the rest of the spaces available. It took her two months to renovate the whole place to make it look like exactly how she wanted her ideal workspace to be: white walls and white marble floors.

By the entrance, there was a mini-kitchen bar complete with the stove, fridge, and table counter. The wall between the mini-kitchen and the actual workspace is occupied by small cubed letter-shaped bookshelves that spelled "read your book case" and was lined with various books arranged by color. Directly in front of it lay a small glass coffee table and two bean bag chairs, one orange and one apple green. Right across the mini-kitchen was the door that leads to the small bathroom, which Piper had renovated to include a shower.

The walls around the studio were adorned with framed works of art ranging from vintage posters to modern and kitsch typography work that spelled things like ampersands, inspirational quotes, and song lyrics by their favorite bands.

Farther into the room, four iMacs lined the workspace tables, with two units each on both sides of the opposing walls. Since Piper owned the place, she had a special workspace by the big glass window that stretched across the entire wall, giving her a good view of the city. A long white table, which Piper had custom-made, extended from one end of the window to the other, giving Piper all the space she needed for her two iMac units, folders, books, speakers, and whatnot.

Just before the workspace area on the left side of the room, there is a door leading up to a smaller space, which Piper made into a small recreational room. Piper thought it was necessary to have one because she knew that some projects would require them to stay in for longer hours, so she thought it best to have a place for them to take naps and relax. The room was only half the size of the workspace area, so it was pretty cramped up. By the right side of the window, a small bookshelf was lined both with books and DVDs. On the bookshelf's left was a double-sized mattress with a mountain of pillows and a pile of neatly folded bed sheets arranged on top of it. A 42-inch smart television was mounted on the wall next to the bookshelf. The table below it was home to the DVD player and a PlayStation 4. The white wall opposite the window was blank for the purpose of being used as an alternative screen for when they wanted to watch a movie using the projector that hung overhead the bed. At times, however, the team liked to use the wall to create their design moodboards on.

Piper's design team was very small. During their first year, there were only three of them. Apart from Piper, there were Lorna and Daya, who she went to college with. Back then, only Piper had the money, which she earned from various design gigs, to get the studio running, so neither Lorna nor Daya had a say when Piper decided to name the studio _Piped Designs_. A year later, Piper met the duo Sonia and Chloe at a design conference in San Francisco and roped them into joining her team in New York. In that same year, Piper decided to change the name from _Piped Designs_ to _Pentagon_ to be more sensitive to her co-workers. Nevertheless, despite being in a team, Piper still called the final shots.

It was a quarter to eleven when Piper walked in the studio. The sight of her four friends working at their respective stations while jamming along to Maroon 5's new album welcomed her. Sonia was the first to notice her presence.

"Oh, look who finally decided to show up." Sonia remarked with a small smirk on her face.

Piper raised an eyebrow and answered, "If you must know, I came from a very stressful client meeting. Plus, I did tell Chloe I'd be coming in late today, didn't I?"

Chloe turned her head towards Piper and Sonia and merely raised a thumbs-up sign while she continued to belt out the lyrics to the song blasting from the speakers. With that confirmation, Sonia just chuckled, shook her head, and brought her attention back to her own computer screen.

While walking towards her station, Daya called Piper over to ask for comments about a project that she's working on.

"So what do you think?" Daya asked, gesturing to her screen.

Piper inspected the illustrations and saw that they were good. What bothered her was the typeface Daya used for the captions. It was in fucking Comic Sans.

"I love the illustrations. Can you maybe just replace the text with a different font? Sans serif would be best, I think. Try Gotham or stick with Helvetica. Brandon Grotesque could work, too." Piper replied, not wanting to be too blunt regarding her friend's terrible font choice.

"Comic Sans _is_ sans serif." Daya whined.

"Yes, it is, but just because you're working on a comic doesn't mean that you should use it for the text. Hell, you should never use that font on anything. Ever." Piper sighed as she quickly made her way to her own station before she said anything else that she would probably regret later on. She heard Daya whisper "hater" but chose to ignore it. She did not have the energy to fight over a fucking font.

Piper settled down in her workspace and began sorting her to-do list for the day. She made notes both on paper and on the window glass, using a special pen she found online recently. She spent the next two hours looking for design inspiration for the projects she was currently working on. She refused to join the girls for lunch when they invited her because she wanted to make up for the work hours she missed in the morning. It was only when Lorna dragged her away from her table that she finally agreed to go out to grab a quick bite.

Piper took the short walk around the block to one of her favorite food places. It was a quaint little restaurant that served great food at very affordable prices. Piper wasn't that hungry, so she only ordered a small bowl of Caesar salad and a glass of orange juice.

Shortly after her food arrived and after having a few bites, Piper took out her iPad and checked her emails. She saw two new ones from a client and one from her bushy-haired best friend Nicky. She smiled at the sight of her best friend's name and opened the email.

* * *

9/10/14, 9:08 AM

**To: **Piper  
**Subject:** Exhibition

* * *

Yo, Blondie!

Attached below is the _beautiful_ invitation that you designed for the art exhibition this weekend. Make sure to bring all the Pentagon girls.

Don't forget to RSVP. Bring a plus one this time. I miss bullying your dates.

Remember, I'm killing you in your sleep if you don't show up.

Love ya,

Nichols

* * *

Piper smiled at her best friend's message. She quickly typed in her reply and hit send.

* * *

9/10/14, 1:40 PM

**To: **Nicky  
**Subject:** Re: Exhibition

* * *

If by Pentagon girls you mean _Lorna_, you got it.

As for the +1, we'll see.

I miss you, you crazy bitch. See you this weekend. x

P

* * *

Piper set her iPad down on the left side of the bowl and continued eating her salad. She reread Nicky's email, her eyes lingering on the words _plus one_. Who was she going to bring? Her thoughts immediately went to the raven-haired woman, who she hasn't seen in the last few days. _Would Alex be interested?_

At the thought of Alex, she mentally kicked herself when she remembered that she hasn't checked her personal email since she sent her last correspondence a few days ago. Sure enough, there was a new email from Alex and a crooked smile immediately formed on Piper's lips as she started reading through it.

_Don't argue. I saw "Come Clean" set on repeat on your iPod._

"That bitch went through my iPod?" Piper muttered quietly to herself, pausing before she continued reading. At that moment, Piper made a mental note to defend Hilary Duff in her next email.

Piper was lifting the last piece of lettuce to her mouth when she suddenly burst out laughing in the middle of the room because of what she just read. The fork slipped her fingers and fell clattering on the floor. Still chuckling, she covered her mouth with her left hand and dove down to retrieve the utensil from under the table. On her way back up, she hit her head on the edge of the table, almost knocking her glass of water off the table. Thankfully, the waiter was already by her side to prevent the glass from falling. He offered her a new fork and Piper quickly thanked him for it.

"Is everything okay, miss?" the waiter asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll just—I'll just have the check please." Piper replied in between giggles. She looked around her and realized that everyone in the restaurant was giving her weird looks. Piper blushed and focused her attention back to her tablet.

When the check came, Piper paid and left a generous amount of tip. She had to make up for the embarrassing scene she just caused. Shortly after, she left the restaurant and made her way back to the studio.

As soon as Piper settled down back in her station, she tried to get back to work immediately. However, she couldn't keep the thought of Alex's email out of her mind. She thought of calling the brunette, but she wasn't sure if Alex was back in New York and she didn't want to disturb her either.

Finally giving in, Piper turned away from her iMacs and retrieved her laptop from her drawer. She took a moment to admire her Tiffany blue laptop case before turning the device on, opening the Mail application, and writing her response to the brunette.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry this update took forever. The past week has been really hell for me in university. I still have a lot of work to catch up on, but I figured this was long overdue and that I should deliver.

I'm also still trying to recover from the dead after the mass murder that is Laylor activity in Europe. JFC, those idiots are seriously driving me insane.

Anyway, I hope you liked it. Please don't forget to review! They really do help me. I would really love to hear what you thought of this chapter. I know my writing sucks, but I hope I didn't disappoint too much.

Big thanks to the following people for giving me their feedback regarding my little survey from the previous chapter: **VillageVoice412**, **ejm137**, **izzielg**, **OITNBEmma**, **VAUSEMAN MAD**, **Bryda18**, **Cherishedngadsden**, **Alicia**, **Frankie**, and to the **Guest** user. You guys are hella amazing! x


	15. Sign me up

9/10/14, 2:31 PM

* * *

**To: **Alex  
**Subject: **Sign me up

* * *

I was eating lunch alone at a restaurant earlier when I went over your email, and I couldn't help but lose my shit when I read that bit about your little room service encounter.

My fork slipped from my fingers and fell on the floor. I almost knocked my glass off the table, and I was laughing so fucking hard I almost fell off my seat. I had to hurry off and leave as soon as I found my bearings and paid the bill. Jesus Christ, the embarrassment was totally worth it, though.

HAHAHAHA! I'm still laughing just thinking about it. I can't believe he thought you were a guy! Does that shit happen often with you?

And _excuse you_ — I have _great_ taste in music, thank you very much. I was giving into nostalgia when I put Hilary Duff on replay. It's been a while since I heard one of her songs and it (Come Clean) came on shuffle on Spotify and — You know what? Whatever. I'm not even going to try to explain myself.

But, hey, know that I am _never_ going to say no to front-row seats and VIP concert passes. Sign me up.

I've spoken to the annoying couple again this morning and we have finally settled on how they want their wedding invitations to look like. The guy's last name is "Bloom", so his incredibly _bright_ fiancée thought it would be a brilliant idea to have purely floral-themed wedding collaterals. _Surprise, surprise! _How creative.

They want floral patterns on _literally_ every print collateral they want me to design for them. It's not actually a very difficult thing to do. I just think it's boring as fuck. Moreover, they're pushing for this horrible color combination of fucking Barbie pink and royal purple. They are celebrating a wedding, for Christ's sake, not a fucking debutante's ball!

I'm still trying to convince them to change their minds about the colors (the least they can do is settle on different shades of pink and purple), and I am not going to back down. I won't compromise my design aesthetics for people who think they know shit about what I do and think that the design process I go through is easy because it is so fucking not.

I do know for a fact that I won't be depressed when all of this is over, though, because they are paying me good money for all the design collaterals I'm going to make. At first, I was worried I wouldn't get paid as much as I wanted because the fiancé didn't seem like he was making a lot of money writing for this publication that I haven't even heard about before. Fortunately, however, his parents seem loaded so there's that.

Ugh. Sorry for rambling.

I'm in the studio right now. I'm drafting illustrations for a series of posters we're doing for this artisanal gelato shop. Fun stuff.

Anyway, I know you're busy, but call me when you get the chance, okay? I want to ask you something.

I won't call you 'sir', I promise. ;)

P

* * *

A/N: I meant to publish this earlier, but it totally slipped my mind. My apologies. I know how everything seems a little drawn out because of all the details, but that's just how I write. Will do my best to remedy that. Next update will be up soon!

Bless you, you wonderful people: **vanillaltte**, **VillageVoice412**, **Cherishedngadsden**, **Guest**, **izzielg**, and **ejm137**.


	16. Culture

A/N: Hey, guys! Before anything else, I would just like to clarify some details from the previous chapters (seeing as some of you may have been confused).

The thing Piper was laughing about in Alex's email is that bit concerning the room service guy referring to Alex as "sir" instead of "ma'am" (because he was thrown off by her deep voice over the phone). I understand how that may have been difficult to catch for some. As a matter of fact, that bit is actually a reference to the interview that Laura and Taylor did earlier this year in Sweden (which you should totally listen to, by the way, if you haven't yet). I live for references, so expect more of those from me in the future installments. If you do catch the references I make, call me out on them in the reviews. It's always more fun that way. It's nice to know when people actually get you.

Anyway, here is another short filler before the art exhibition update (still working on it; don't wanna release a half-assed work). Please don't forget to review! Let me know what you want to happen in the next installments. S/O to **ejm137**, **endofeverything**, **vanillaltte**, **Cherishedngadsden**, **Guest**, **izzielg**, and **garganta **for leaving feedback on the previous chapter! I really appreciate it!

* * *

9/10/14, 9:26 PM

* * *

Alex's flight back to New York was delayed for three hours, so she was in a pretty bad mood for the entire duration of the trip. She still had a lot of work to deal with and she hated being late to commitments. She had a dinner appointment scheduled that same night, but looking at the time, she knew that she wouldn't make it.

As soon as the plane landed, Alex took out her phone and made a few calls. Before going their separate ways, she had her assistant John reschedule all her appointments for the night to be moved to the next day. Alex couldn't be bothered to work anymore. She was done for the day. She needed to go home.

The place that Alex called home was a penthouse that she bought with her first paycheck years ago. Alex was beyond lucky to get the space. Apart from having the whole top floor, she also had the rooftop all to herself, giving her an astonishing view of the city. The space in the rooftop was huge, so she utilized half of it and constructed a small greenhouse, where she grew her own vegetation. Alex had a knack for cooking and baking so she thought that it would serve her best to grow some of her own ingredients. The greenhouse is also home to a small selection of flowers because even the great and mighty Alex Vause had a soft spot for them. She loved tending to her little garden. It was a hobby that she got from her beloved mother.

Apart from a table and a chair, the other half of the rooftop remained plain and empty. Alex wanted to keep the space vacant for when she threw band parties. After all, the place was the perfect venue for loud late-night festivities.

As soon as she got home, Alex went straight to the bathroom. After taking a quick shower, Alex retreated to her California king bed, which was obviously too big for just one person. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and went through her emails. She smirked some as soon as she saw one from Piper. It was sent earlier that afternoon. She quickly read through it. Alex came to the conclusion that the blonde had a monstrous temper and, in that moment, swore to herself that she would do her very best to avoid being on the receiving end of the blonde's fiery rage.

Seeing as it was only a few minutes after 10, she decided to call Piper. It only took three rings before the blonde picked up. Alex spoke right away.

"Hey. Sorry it took me forever. My flight was delayed and my schedule got fucked up. I just got settled in bed," Alex explained.

"Hello, _sir_, what can I do for you?" Piper said in the most formal voice she could muster.

"Piper Chapman, remind me never to believe any of your promises," Alex chuckled. She heard the blonde laugh out loud on the other line. _Oh, my god_, Alex thought. She lived for that beautiful sound. She could listen to it forever.

"I just read your email. What did you want to ask me, you bully?" Alex asked, getting straight to the point.

"Right. I was just wondering if you were free this Saturday," Piper inquired with a clear hint of hope in her voice.

"Care to enlighten me as to what I should be free for this weekend?" Alex asked teasingly. Of course, she'd be free for the blonde. She took a mental note to clear her schedule for the entire weekend. She felt that it was _imperative_ that she met up with Piper. She realized that they've only known each other for a few days, but the blonde already had this effect on her. Ever since the day she approached Piper at the bar, the thought of the blonde always seemed to manage to stay at the back of her head. Alex couldn't explain it. All she knew was that she really wanted — no — _needed_ to see Piper as soon as possible.

_Me, _was what Piper really wanted to say, but instead responded with, "My best friend is hosting an art exhibition in her gallery this Saturday night. The show will feature her first set of artists, so she's pretty excited about it. She's also debuting some of her own personal works. She told me to invite a couple of friends," Piper paused, "and I was wondering if you wanted to come."

"Friends, huh? Can I bring Ross and Joey with me?" Alex said, smirking as she rolled on to her back and stared at the ceiling.

"That's _hilarious_, Chandler. And, yes, _friends_," Piper answered defensively. "All the girls from the studio are going as well," she added. Piper could clearly picture the brunette with that annoying yet enticing smirk plastered on her face.

"So, I'm your plus one, is that it? And I'm meeting the best friend? _Already_?" Alex asked, exaggerating a sarcastic concerned tone in her voice.

"If you play nice, maybe I'll introduce you. I can't have my best friend thinking I'm hanging out with someone who is an even bigger asshole than she is. She takes pride in that. Wouldn't want to hurt her feelings," Piper quipped back.

"Your best friend sounds lovely, you know."

"So, are you coming or not?"

"What do I get out of it?" Alex finally mused, her voice low. She could sense Piper's desperation on the other line. She loved winding up the blonde. She wanted to make the blonde beg for it, albeit knowing that Piper wouldn't give in that easily. Alex heard Piper let out a heavy sigh before the blonde finally spoke again.

"First of all, you get to dress up. Don't dress too formally, though, 'cause my best friend Nicky's throwing an after-party and, I am telling you, her parties are wild. There's going to be a lot of drinking and dancing. Just wear something classy and comfortable at the same time. Second, you're going to meet new people. And, finally, you're going be immersed in the arts for an entire night. I'm going to get some culture in you — and, to be honest, I really need to get some culture in me, too. I don't know, just… It's going to be fun. I promise. You'll thank me for it." Piper reasoned.

"Why should I believe your promise this time?" Alex teased.

"Because I have every intention of keeping my word this time," Piper answered.

"That's it?"

"What do you mean 'that's it'? Isn't that enough? What _do_ you want to get out of it?" Piper asked.

Alex let out a low chuckle. "Wait. What's your role in this whole thing again?"

"I am going as the supportive best friend," Piper paused before adding, "and the Pentagon may or may not have helped out with the promotions and stuff so..."

"Ah, supporting your own, eh?"

"Mmm. Something like that."

"Alright, alright." The brunette said after a moment, finally giving the blonde the satisfaction. And if she was being honest, Alex was just too tired to prolong the banter. "I'll go."

Piper was thrilled to have finally convinced the brunette. She couldn't contain her excitement and she didn't even try to hide it. She was beaming. "Great! I'll send you the details now and I'll meet you there then, okay?"

"Okay then," Alex said while trying to fight off a yawn and failing miserably.

Alex heard Piper snicker on the other line before the blonde spoke up. "Oh, wow. You sound extremely excited about it. I can tell," Piper joked.

"Sorry. Long day," Alex said with a sigh.

"I know, sweetie. I understand. I know you're exhausted and you should go get some rest. I appreciate you taking the time to call me, but I want you to go straight to sleep. Now," Piper commanded in a soft voice.

"Jeez. Okay, little miss bossy. Good night," Alex said quietly.

"Good night, Alex."

Alex waited for the blonde to hang up first, but when she didn't, the brunette quickly spoke again.

"Oh, Pipes, wait." She was quiet after a while as she waited for the blonde to acknowledge her.

"Yeah?"

"On Saturday night," Alex began.

"Mm-hmm?"

Alex couldn't help it. Right before she hung up, a devilish smile formed on her lips as she whispered suggestively and slowly in her deep, sultry voice.

"I want you to know for a fact that I'm going to do my best to see to it that culture won't be the only thing getting into you before that night ends. _It's going to be fun. I promise. You'll thank me for it._"


	17. Masterpiece

A/N: I never really intended for this fic to have full-blown traditional chapters, so please bear with me. I'm also not sure if this is good enough, but I decided to publish anyway before I got even busier with schoolwork. Succeeding updates may take longer than usual, as my finals week is nigh. I have to prioritize that.

Three things: (1) if you don't know yet, the characters of Sonia and Chloe are borrowed from Taylor Schilling's old TV series _Mercy_, (2) titles of the works and names of the artists mentioned in the latter part of the chapter are entirely fictional, (3) it's 5 AM from my part of the world, so please pardon any spelling and grammatical errors.

Once again, I'd like to thank everyone who left reviews in the previous chapter. It means so much to hear from you guys. Please don't forget to let me know what you think about this one in the reviews! I spent a lot of time on this and I made sure to make it extra long (6k+!), so I hope you guys enjoy it. Cheers! x

* * *

9/13/14, 2:30 PM

* * *

"Yo, P. I'm going ahead with Lorna and Daya. We're going to be late for our spa appointment. We'll meet you and Chloe there?" Sonia called out to the blonde, peeking from her position by the doorframe of the rec room.

Lifting herself on her elbow, Piper got up to face her friend and responded, "Yeah, we'll meet you there. Have fun!"

Piper plopped down and stretched on the bed, a smile slowly creeping up on her features.

After waiting for two excruciatingly long days, it was finally Saturday. It was the day that Piper has been waiting for. Tonight, she was finally going to see Alex Vause.

Ever since that phone call, Piper could not calm herself down. Arching her head back against the pillow, she closed her eyes and remembered the exact words that left the brunette's lips before she hung up.

_I want you to know for a fact that I'm going to do my best to see to it that culture won't be the only thing getting into you before that night ends._

_What a fucking, fucking tease_, Piper thought, _and she had the nerve to use my own words against me?_

Not that Piper was complaining, though. She loved every bit of it. Hell, she found herself sitting on a puddle the moment those words left Alex's lips. She couldn't wait to collect on the brunette's promise. Whether Alex was serious or not, she didn't know, and she didn't care. Piper was going to make sure that _something_ happened tonight. But in the event that Alex was serious, of course, she would not give in that easily either. She had a reputation to uphold. She wanted Alex to work for it. However, even Piper herself wasn't sure if she could survive the entire night without giving in right away. There is something about Alex Vause that is just so damn irresistible. Now that Piper was thinking about it, she couldn't pinpoint exactly what it is that makes Alex so alluring. Is it her looks? Is it her commanding stature? Is it her intelligence? Is it her beautiful jaded irises that made Piper feel like Alex could see right through her? Maybe it's her on-point sense of humor? Is it her luscious full lips? Or is it her incredibly sexy, deep tones that drove Piper mad and unstable in her lower region?

_Probably the latter, _Piper decided, as she bit her lower lip at the thought of Alex saying her name over and over again. _Mmm,_ _definitely the latter_.

Just before Piper's imaginations involving the brunette got more heated, the ring of her mobile interrupted her train of thought. With a heavy sigh, she felt around the mattress, snatched her phone, and held the device up to her ear without even looking at the caller ID.

"_What_?" Piper demanded with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Jeez, Chapman. Hello to you, too. What did I do now? Did I interrupt an afternoon delight or something?" Nicky greeted teasingly on the other line.

"Oh, fuck off. You were interrupting my thoughts, and it was just getting interesting," Piper snapped back.

"What do you want, Nicky?" She asked gentler this time.

"You were totally having your daily sex daydream, weren't ya?"

"I didn't even get to the sex part, thanks to you," Piper scoffed.

Nicky let out a hearty laugh. "Well, you know me. Cockblocking is a very special talent of mine."

Piper smiled at this. "Of course it is. Why'd you call? Everything alright?" With tonight's event being Nicky's first show, the blonde knew that it was a big deal for her best friend. The media would be present and the placed would be packed. She can only imagine how Nicky must be holding up.

"I honestly have no idea what I did to fucking deserve this, but everything is going smoothly so far," Nicky said with disbelief in her voice. "Everything has been set up, all the artists are already here, and the food caterers just confirmed that they're on their way."

"Okay. And this worries you because…" Piper trailed off.

"_Because_. This shit _never_ happens. Something _always_ gets fucked up eventually! I can't afford to screw things up tonight! My mother already thinks she made a mistake by putting me in-charge of the gallery!" Nicky exclaimed, fear evident in her voice.

"Nicky! Calm the fuck down, will you? Stop being so overdramatic. That's _my_ role, okay? Nothing bad will happen," Piper interjected. "People are going to swarm to your gallery, they're going to appreciate all your featured works, and they're going to purchase your art pieces. They will enjoy the food, they will all go home feeling blissfully happy and inspired, and you will get good press. Next thing you know, by the end of the night, you'll be a lot richer than you are right now. And, if you're lucky, maybe, _just maybe_, not only will you get to go home with the knowledge that your bank account will have more money in the next few days, but you will also get to go home with a nice, rich ass socialite debutante, who will be willing to be your human trophy for the night. It's going to be fine. _You're_ going to be fine. Stop stressing yourself out. I want to see the I-don't-give-a-fuck version of Nicky Nichols tonight. Promise me."

Shortly after Piper finished talking, she heard the woman sigh on the other line.

"_Okay_. Okay. Fine. I'm fine," Nicky said.

"Good," Piper said, smirking triumphantly.

"Ugh. You and your pep talks. Get that smirk off of your face before I come over and wipe it off by high-fiving it with my fist," Nicky huffed. She knew the blonde so well. After all, they've known each other for years. If there was one good thing that they took away from being forced to attend all those debutante balls and social gatherings — courtesy of their mothers nonetheless — it would be finding comfort and a friend in each other.

"Oh, sweetie, I absolutely love it when you talk dirty to me. You always get me feeling some kind of way. What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Yeah, yeah. Watch your libido, Chapman. I know you love me. Listen, will Lorna come tonight?" Nicky asked.

"Well, that solely depends on you. Will _you_ make her come tonight?"

"You know I have every intention to do so," Nicky said, snickering at the innuendo, "but we both know how fucking indecisive she can get. I don't know what the fuck she wants."

"After that incident at your last party, you can't really blame her, can you? You were a fucking dick to her. I had to deal with a hysterical Lorna for days in the studio, and you know full well how she is when she spirals into that rabbit hole of depression. It's not pretty."

"Touché, my friend. Fair point," Nicky conceded. "But she's still going tonight, right?"

"Of course she is. She's out with Sonia and Daya, and they're on their way to the spa right now to get ready," Piper informed her.

"Okay. That's good news," Nicky said with a sigh of relief. "By the way, who were you mentally undressing just before I called? Will I be seeing the subject of your fantasies in your arms tonight?"

Piper hesitated. She didn't know how to tell her best friend that she's rejoining the softball league, as Nicky would call it. Of course, she knew that her best friend wouldn't judge her, but she was not sure if she was ready for the amount of teasing the bushy-haired woman would throw her way the moment she found out. Piper was certain that she was not going to hear the end of it, so she decided to go with a safe answer.

"My fantasies are none of your business."

"Says the girl who wouldn't shut up about her sexual fantasies and weird fetishes that one night in Vegas while walking around in her fucking underwear," Nicky teased.

"_Nicolette Nichols_," Piper said, enunciating every syllable very slowly, "you gave me your fucking word that we would never discuss that again. _Ever_."

"I know, I know. Just casually reminding you that I own you, that's all," Nicky said with a laugh. "Come on, spill it. What's his name? We're not talking about Bat Cave-level secrecy here."

Piper rolled her eyes. She could feel Nicky's smugness waft through the phone. "Yeah, no, and fuck you for still holding that against me after all these years."

"Love you, too, Blondie." Nicky laughed some more before finally saying, "A'ight, I gotta go. Thanks for picking up. See you tonight, and don't be late!"

"See you tonight."

* * *

"Piper, hurry up! We don't want to be late!" Chloe called out from Piper's living room. Chloe came over at Piper's apartment so that they could get ready together. Thirty minutes have passed since the blonde finished her hair and makeup and excused herself to get dressed. Chloe was getting impatient.

"What is taking you so lo—_oh_," Chloe trailed off as soon as Piper finally emerged from her bedroom, "_wow_, you look amazing!"

"You think so? It's not too simple or over-the-top?" Piper asked, twirling once so her friend could give her a proper onceover. Piper was modeling a gorgeous tight-fitting white dress that stretched until her mid-thigh with the back forming a V that stopped at the middle of her spine, and paired it with red high heels that matched the shade of her lipstick. Her hair was styled in a classy updo, courtesy of Chloe.

"Oh, shut up. You look perfect! Damn, girl. Are you trying to impress somebody tonight?" After seeing the blonde smile at her question, she quickly added, "Oh, my god, tell me. Who is he?"

Piper walked past Chloe to retrieve her clutch bag from the coffee table, "_She_," Piper muttered, her voice low. Piper turned around and laughed at the sight of her friend's facial expression. "Do you want me to pick up your jaw from the floor for you?" Piper teased.

"So, you're totally swinging for a different team now? I thought that was just a phase when you were in college?" Chloe asked, her eyes wide, clearly amused. "Do the other girls know?"

"They all do and I thought you did, too. Weren't you there when we slept over at Sonia's beach house? Don't you remember her neighbor that Sonia caught me making out with?"

"Billy?"

"Yeah."

"Wait, are you telling me Billy was a _girl_?"

"I thought you knew."

"I thought the guy was Billy and the girl was Clarence!"

"Nope. Other way around, Chlo."

"Jesus, I'm so fucking clueless. Y'all should just start calling me Cher from now on," Chloe said, shaking her head.

"Anyway, I'm not switching teams," Piper said as she made her way to the door, "I've always been on both ever since," she added, winking at her friend.

"Come on, let's go."

* * *

The venue was packed and bustling with people when the pair arrived. It took them a while before they found their co-workers standing by the cocktails booth.

"Looking lovely tonight, ladies," Piper greeted, beaming at her friends.

The first few minutes of their reunion was spent on complimenting each other's looks for the night. This was shortly followed up by Chloe's monologue concerning the new information that she just found out about Piper, and Sonia retelling the story of the events at the beach house. It took some time for Piper to finally focus on the conversation at hand, as she was mightily preoccupied with her thoughts on her plus one's tardiness and current whereabouts.

"I heard a noise coming from the shed, so I decided to go take a look. I grabbed the shovel that was by the door because I thought I was going to find that fucking raccoon. I thought I was ready for what I was going to see, but when I opened the door and saw this _proper_ young lady," Sonia gestured at Piper, "hoisted up on the table with her legs wrapped around my neighbor's waist, I realized that I wasn't." By this time, Piper was blushing hard and had her face in her hands. "What's worse is that they didn't even notice right away that I was there, so I just stood there frozen for a few seconds until—," Sonia stopped mid-sentence and looked over Piper's shoulder and smirked, "_Damn_. That girl sure knows how to make an entrance."

When Piper turned around to see the person her friend was referring to and realized who it was, she immediately felt the air get knocked off from her chest. Piper stood motionless, her bottom lip caught in her teeth, as she admired the tantalizing sight that unraveled before her.

As soon as Alex Vause walked in, heads from all around the room turned and all eyes fell on her. To describe her as obscenely hot would be a fucking understatement.

Alex Vause was a dark-tressed sex symbol.

The brunette was sporting a short black dress that revealed a generous amount of cleavage under a black quilted leather jacket. She stood extra taller than most in her red-bottom high heels, with her legs, which were wrapped under tight black leggings, stretching on for miles. Alex ditched the glasses and wore contacts instead. She paused and stood in the middle of the room, eyes searching for a certain blonde.

After slowly taking in the brunette's form, Piper was certain that she would pass out at any given second. She found it harder to stand still the moment their eyes met and a signature sexy smirk flashed across the brunette's features. Taking easy steps, Alex made her way towards the blonde, her eyes never leaving Piper's. When she got closer, Alex raked her eyes down the blonde's figure. _Piper Chapman in white is a fucking beautiful sight to behold_, Alex thought. They stood about a meter apart and continued eye-fucking each other for what seemed like an eternity, indisputable desire evident in both women's eyes.

It was only until when Alex broke the silence that Piper woke from her trance and remembered how to breathe.

"Hey."

_Hey. _One word. All it took was a single word for Piper to almost lose herself over the edge right there on the spot. She still could not quite figure out why the brunette had that much effect on her. It took her a moment to respond, as she struggled to find her voice.

"You're late."

"A queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early," Alex smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"This isn't Genovia, Your Highness," the blonde retorted.

The pair fell silent again as they continued their staring game, oblivious to the fact that Piper's co-workers were intently watching them. After a while, Sonia cleared her throat, causing Piper to finally turn around and realize that they weren't alone.

"Right," she cleared her throat. "Um. Everyone, this is Alex; Alex, this is everyone," Piper said, quickly introducing each woman by name. Alex then proceeded to shake their hands

"So, Alex," Chloe began, "what did Piper say to you to convince you to come here? She hardly ever brings plus ones to these things, you know?"

"Is that so?" Alex raised an eyebrow at Piper, who just rolled her eyes in response. "Well, she did tell me that she would introduce me to new people, so that's one thing down. The selling point, however, was when she told me that she'd get some _culture_ in me. I felt like I needed that."

"Culture, huh?" Sonia smirked, throwing Piper a teasing look.

Before Piper could speak, an event usher beckoned them to follow him, telling them that the opening remarks were about to be given.

When the pair was a safe distance behind Piper's co-workers, Alex positioned her hand on Piper's lower back, which sent a shiver down Piper's spine, and leaned in to whisper in the blonde's ear. "What were you doing before I arrived," she paused, "besides thinking of me?"

She turned to look at the grinning brunette and shook her head, "Are you always this narcissistic?"

Alex opened her mouth to respond, but she was interrupted when someone started speaking in front of everybody. The heavy-accented voice belonged to a short blonde woman. She was wearing a black top that was sheer in the front, exposing her black bra underneath. She was also modeling a high-waist black leather shorts and a cream blazer. Alex stared at the woman in front of her and had a feeling that she has seen her before, but could not exactly remember who she was and where she's seen her first. It was only until when Piper dropped a comment on how the speaker's classy blonde locks looked the total opposite of how it usually is when Alex presumed that the much shorter blonde was Piper's best friend, Nicky.

The shorter blonde continued to speak and the room erupted in laughter at a joke that she cracked. Shortly after, they were all led further into different sections of the gallery, so they could all see the art pieces and listen to the artists talk about their works

It took about two hours for Piper's group to finish circling the entire floor. Only a handful of people remained at the venue by this time, as it was already half past ten. After getting more cocktails, the group went on to enthusiastically debate over a particular piece of work

"What are you talking about?" Chloe asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"It's literally right there, smack in the middle of the canvas," Daya said. "You're looking at it the wrong way. Stand here," she motioned for Chloe to take her place.

"I've got it," Alex chimed in. "Chloe, get your phone out and open your camera app. Face away from it and look at it through the second camera." Chloe quickly complied.

"Oh. _Oh_, shit. I think I see it," she confirmed.

"Well, aren't you resourceful," Piper muttered, raising her eyebrows at the tall brunette.

"Let's just say I may know a thing or two about contemporary art," Alex said with a smirk. "Although, I have to admit, ninety-nine percent of the time, I do _not _understand art at all. The classics — now, that I can easily appreciate, but this," she gestured around the contemporary pieces around the room, "I mean, _invisible paintings_? Seriously? What the fuck?"

"Yeah, the invisible paintings sold pretty quickly," said Piper with a laugh, "and do you remember the blank canvas?" Alex nodded. "According to the artist," Piper continued, "it's supposed to encourage the audience to see art past the material objects and set our imaginations alight."

Alex leaned in, giving Piper a spectacular view of the brunette's front. Alex smirked when she noticed Piper's eyes dropping to her chest. Speaking in a low voice so only the blonde could hear, Alex whispered, "But the real question is: do _you_ like what you see? What are _you _imagining right now? "

Piper eyes snapped up to meet Alex's gaze and flushed immediately. "Shut up."

"Contemplating on how I'm going to get some culture in you, perhaps?" Alex quipped.

Piper usually found it easy to banter with Alex, but when she opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out. Piper was at a loss for words. She was too captivated by the green eyes that pierced right through her that she lost the ability to formulate a decent answer — or any comprehensive thought for that matter.

Piper heard a loud bark of laughter come from behind Alex, and that's when she finally came to her senses.

"Nicky! I am so fucking proud of you," Piper exclaimed, walking past the brunette and pulling the shorter blonde woman in a tight embrace.

"Whoa, easy there, tiger. Don't ruin the mane. It took the entire day to tame this," Nicky said, chuckling. Piper pulled away reluctantly, pouting at her best friend.

"So, where the hell is your plus one?" Nicky inquired, looking around.

Piper stepped aside to reveal the brunette's form behind her. She motioned for Alex to take a step closer. Piper was a little nervous about the whole thing, but she didn't let it show.

"Nicky, I'd like you to meet Alex Vause. Alex, this is my best friend, Nicky Nichols."

Alex flashed Nicky a small smile and was about to extend her arm to shake Nicky's hand when the shorter woman cried out, her eyes wide and her mouth hung open.

"_Holy shit!_"

"Wha—what? Nicky, what's wrong?" Piper demanded, looking frantically between the brunette and her best friend, her eyes flooded with worry.

It was at that same moment when Alex finally realized who was standing in front of her. Recognition flashing before her eyes, her smile faltered and was quickly replaced by an expression identical to that of the shorter blonde's.

"_Are you fucking kidding me_? _Nix_? Is that you?"

The smaller blonde was beaming now. "_Lexi_?"

"_Oh, my god_!" Alex shrieked, a huge grin breaking across her face. She pulled the shorter woman into a firm hug. "I thought you looked familiar! Jesus! I'm so fucking stupid."

"Fucking hell! How long has it been?" Nicky asked.

"A long ass time," Alex answered with a deep chuckle

"Can anybody please explain to me what the hell is happening right now?" Piper insisted. It was very difficult for the blonde to take in the scenario that was playing before her. The sight of Alex and her best friend falling into a tight embrace shortly after introducing them to each other was something that she did not expect to happen in a million years.

The two women broke away from their embrace and turned to face the puzzled blonde, their arms snaking around each other's backs. Both women laughed at Piper's reaction.

"You two actually know each other? How?"

"You're damn right, we do," Nicky confirmed.

"Explain, Nichols. Details." Piper was growing impatient.

"You remember all those summers when we were still teenagers and I would disappear for a few weeks and go on those awesome road trips across the country? You remember me talking about the crowd I hung out with?"

Piper nodded

"Lexi here was part of that crowd," Nicky explained.

"I remember joining you on that trip once. How come I don't remember seeing her there?" Piper looked even more confused now.

"That was probably the only year I skipped, so I could go to the Grand Canyon with my mother," Alex noted. "My mom rarely got time off of work and she really wanted to make the most of our vacation, so I wasn't able to make it back home in time before the gang left for the trip."

"Are you sure it wasn't because of the pork chop incident from the year before that?" Nicky side-eyed the brunette, smirking.

"Oh, god," Piper held her hand over her mouth, "That was _you_?" Piper questioned, her puzzled expression quickly replaced by that of amusement, her mouth breaking into a huge grin.

The tall brunette turned to swat Nicky's arm and said, "_Fuck you._ You fucking told her? That was supposed to be our secret!

Nicky held her hands up as if in surrender and said before she burst out laughing, "I'm sorry, I had to tell someone! It was fucking hilarious!"

Alex shook her head some after a moment and conceded, "_Okay_, I admit. That was a great fucking story."

"I swear to God," Piper said in between giggles, "every time I felt down, all Nicky would have to do is tell me that story again, and I would just laugh my fucking ass off. It kept me going for weeks!"

"I'm glad my misfortune served you well," Alex retorted, smirking at the tall blonde.

"Hold up," Nicky interrupted, "how do you two know each other?"

Piper and Alex shared a meaningful look, but neither of the two women spoke up. It didn't take long for Nicky to figure out what was happening.

"_Oh._ Ayy, Chapman, welcome back to the team," Nicky smirked approvingly. "Can't say I'm surprised at you, though, Lexi," Nicky said as she turned to the chuckling brunette. "I've always known that you've got that thing that makes the girls all swing."

"Shut it, Nicky," Piper shot back, glaring at her best friend, who just let out yet another hearty laugh.

"This isn't the last you'll hear from me, Blondie, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave you two for now. I got a certain woman to persuade," Nicky side-eyed Lorna, who was standing at the other end of the room. She turned to Alex briefly and said, "You're coming to my place tonight. We're having a little get-together. Party starts at midnight."

"Yeah, Piper told me about it," Alex stated.

"Of course she did," Nicky said, throwing Piper a suggestive look. Addressing the two, Nicky bid them farewell, "Catch you later, yin-yang."

"Yin-yang?" Piper muttered under her breath.

"I think it has something to do with our outfits," Alex filled her in, although she wasn't so sure herself.

Nicky was halfway across the room when an idea popped into Piper's mind.

"Nicky! Wait!" She quickly caught up with the shorter woman. She leaned in close and whispered, "Is the sixth floor open?"

"I have the key. Why?" Nicky already knew the answer to her question, but she asked anyway. She loved making her best friend uncomfortable.

"Um, nothing, I was just wondering if I could go up there and show Alex around."

"Are you sure that's all you want to do up there? Show her around? Nothing else?"

"Don't make me rip your throat out with my teeth, Nicky."

"As long as you promise to only keep your hands on _each other_ and off the paintings, I'm cool with it," Nicky said after fishing a silver key out from her pocket and proceeded to hand it over to Piper.

"Deal," Piper said, pecking her friend on the cheek.

Piper sauntered back to Alex, who had a bemused look on her face.

"What was that all about?"

"Follow me if you want to find out."

* * *

"Are you sure we're even allowed in here?"

"Alex, you just saw me ask Nicky, A.K.A. the owner of the gallery, for the key. That's not a good enough confirmation for you?" Piper said, as she took Alex's clutch bag and her own purse from the brunette's hands and set it on the small table that was by the door.

"Chill, sassy pants. Just making sure," Alex quipped from behind Piper, who switched on a few lights in the room. The room was still pretty dim, but it was just enough to make the various paintings on the walls visible.

Alex made a sweeping glance across the room and sighed a breath that she didn't realize she was holding, as she took in the grandeur of the artworks around her.

"Wow. Piper, this is amazing."

"You like it?"

"I _love _it. Who made all these?"

"Various artists and some unknown," Piper answered, as she walked towards an impressionist style painting of purple flowers set on a woman's lap. "You know, this is, like, one of my most favorite places in the world."

"You come here often?"

Piper nodded slowly, "I see this place as my second home; the first being the Pentagon den and the third being my actual apartment. This section closes earlier than the rest, so by the time I get off work and I want to go to a place to think, I come here and I end up having the place all to myself. In fact, I come here too often that Nicky finally decided to give me spare keys to this part of the gallery as a gift for my birthday," she said the last line with a laugh. "I just forgot to slip it in my purse earlier, so I had to, yet again, borrow Nicky's."

Alex had no response to what the blonde just revealed. She just stood there smiling and staring at Piper, mesmerized by the look of wonder in the blonde's captivating blue eyes.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I can name all sixty-four artworks in this room, including the artists?" Piper addressed brunette, a small smirk tugging at the side of her lips.

"I wouldn't be surprised, knowing how much of a dork you are," the brunette responded.

"No, seriously, try me," Piper challenged.

"Okay. I want you to stay in the middle of the room, so you don't get to read the names off of the walls," Alex ordered. "You're not allowed to cheat."

"You can blindfold me, for all I care. I can still name all of them provided that you tell me what the subject matter is and what the colors are."

"So, you're into blindfolds, huh? Noted," Alex smirked, raising her eyebrows at the blonde, who just rolled her eyes in response.

Alex surveyed the selection of paintings around her and walked towards a piece featuring a giraffe. "Okay, what's this one?"

"Easy. _Off to New Heights_ by Kate Levine," the blonde answered immediately.

The brunette hastily moved on to the next painting featuring a ballerina dancing on a frozen lake. "What about this one?"

"That one is _Serendipity_ by Samantha Carly Ross."

Alex walked across the room and pointed to a watercolor painting of hands.

"_Study No. 74-A_ by Beatriz Nabokov."

The brunette pointed next to a painting of a distressed mother and child.

"_Primeras Letras_. Grace Hernandez. I particularly love that one. Notice how beautifully the light breaks into the cracks of the wooden door, illuminating their distorted faces?"

"Mm-hmm." Alex nodded slowly as she studied the painting.

"I may be reading too much into it, so I could be wrong, but I love how the dynamic between the concept of brokenness and the light played together in that one. For you to experience genuine relief, you must feel genuine pain beforehand. _We are all broken; that's how the light gets in_."

"Ernest Hemingway," the brunette scoffed, turning her head to smirk at the blonde.

"Ernest Hemingway," Piper admitted, smiling.

They continued to play their game for another thirty minutes, with the blonde dropping little trivia about some pieces every now and then.

"Wait, I'm noticing a pattern here," Alex paused. "Are all these by women?"

"_Yes_! _Finally_. Well done, Sherlock. Took you long enough to figure that out," Piper said, as she walked towards the wall opposite Alex's position.

"The point is that I _did_," Alex shot back.

"And do you want a gold star for that?"

"No," the brunette answered, her expression quickly turning serious. She strode towards the blonde, leaving only a few inches between their faces before she halted. "I want something else."

Licking her lips, Piper felt her breathing slow as she gazed into jaded irises. This is _exactly_ what Piper has been waiting for all night. The brunette slowly lifted Piper's chin up with her forefinger and leaned in for a kiss. Alex's mouth was soft and wet, just like how Piper remembered it to be. Piper pulled Alex closer, fingers digging into her dark hair, lips parting slightly in order to grant the brunette's tongue entrance into her mouth.

Alex pressed Piper further back against the wall. Her right hand dragged down agonizingly slow along the blonde's upper torso before it finally found its home on Piper's ass. She squeezed it tightly, eliciting a moan from the blonde. In response, Piper dropped the hand caressing Alex's face, and positioned it on the brunette's chest, kneading desperately. Alex, then, proceeded to trap Piper's bottom lip between her teeth, earning a hoarse groan from the blonde. The brunette deepened the kiss, their tongues fighting for dominance.

After a few intense minutes, it was Alex who first broke away from Piper's lips. Catching her breath, she pressed their foreheads together. She made a trail of kisses along Piper's jaw and stopped just below the blonde's ear before she whispered.

"I told you I'd get something in you tonight."

"_Fuck,_" the blonde whispered.

Alex chuckled into her ear.

"Not exactly what I initially thought it would be," Piper panted, "but good enough."

"Don't be greedy, Pipes. Patience," Alex breathed against her skin. She planted another kiss on the blonde's neck before pushing herself against the wall and grabbing Piper by the hand. "Come on, you promised to tell me more about your favorite piece."

Reluctantly, the blonde complied and led Alex towards a particular artwork that the brunette hadn't pointed out to earlier.

"_Toilers of the Sea_, Unknown Artist," Piper stated. The painting depicted a picture of a man in a small wooden boat, braving the monstrous waves of the sea. Soft oranges and yellows perfectly contrasted the turquoise shade of the water.

"When I was a little girl — I think I was around four or five years old — I remember obsessing over a painting in my grandparents' old house that looked very close to this one," Piper explained. "Every time that I would come over to visit, I would sit across from the fireplace, where it was hung, and wonder why the man would want to continue rowing his boat towards these huge waves. I mean, who could be that stupid? It doesn't make sense.

"So, one day, my grandfather asked me why I was so frustrated over this particular painting. After I explained it to him, he got up from the sofa, went to his study and fetched me a bunch of papers and crayons. He told me to think of alternative ways for the man to escape the big waves and draw them on the pieces of paper that he gave me. So I did.

"Since then, I found my love for drawing. As I grew up, my passion for drawing turned into painting. I got my dad to sign me up for art classes every summer. Later on, I hit my teenage years and I got into graphic design.

"I guess what I'm getting at with this is the fact that this painting reminds me so much of how I got to where I am today. Apart from it triggering pleasant memories of my grandparents, it reminds me of how I got into the arts in the first place."

"It reminds you of your roots, basically," Alex chimed in, nodding.

"Exactly. And if I weren't an artist, I wouldn't know what I'll be."

At the blonde's last words, the brunette flashed her signature smirk.

"_I know exactly what you'll be,_" Alex began.

"What?"

"_In his gallery—_"

"What are y— _Oh, no._" Piper was mortified when she realized that Alex was breaking into a fucking song.

"_Just not fair—"_

"Oh, god. Please stop," Piper groaned, doing her best to fight off the smile forming on her lips.

"_And it's tearing me apart—"_

"_No._ _Alex_. _No._ Don't even think about finishing what you're saying," Piper threatened, poking the brunette lightly on the shoulder.

"_You're just another priceless work of art—"_

"_Stop,_" Piper pleaded again, trying so hard to keep herself from laughing.

_"In his gallery_," Alex ended. The brunette burst out laughing by the end of it, tears starting to form in her eyes.

Piper shook her head at the brunette in disbelief before she cupped Alex's face in her hands and brought their lips together. She felt the brunette smile into the kiss, one hand resting on the blonde's hip and the other slowly snaking around Piper's neck, tugging her closer. It was a chaste kiss, a lot gentler than the ones they shared earlier.

This time, however, it was Piper who pulled back first.

"Fucking Mario Vazquez," she breathed, earning a raspy chuckle from the brunette.

"Come on," the blonde urged, "your turn."

"My turn for what?"

"To answer the question," Piper said, as she wrapped her arms around Alex's neck. "What's your favorite piece from this collection?"

Alex fell silent, a small smile playing on her lips. She just stood there, staring into dilated blue eyes, dumbfounded by a simple question. She tried her best to rack her brain for an answer, but came up with nothing.

It was only until when Piper flashed Alex her enchanting dimpled smile that the brunette finally figured it out.

None of these paintings meant anything to her. None of them mattered. And even if you combined all of their best elements into one, it still wouldn't compare to the beauty that is her favorite.

Because in a room full of paintings, Piper Chapman is the only masterpiece Alex Vause could not stop staring at.


	18. Caesar

9/14/14, 9:45 AM

* * *

Piper was a light sleeper. She was immediately woken up from her deep slumber the moment she heard the first sound of thunder rumbling from outside. She opened her eyes to take a look out the window and saw that the rain was starting to pour. Piper glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was a quarter to ten in the morning.

She was just about to stretch on the bed when she sensed something stir behind her and felt an arm pull her closer by the waist. It was only then that Piper finally recalled where she was and who she was with.

Alex was sleeping next to her in Nicky's guest room.

The two decided to sleep in the previous night because by the time the party was over, they were already too drunk to get themselves home. Nicky challenged Alex to a game of poker and, well, let's just say that it wasn't Alex's lucky night. The loser had to drink ten shots straight, and that's exactly what Alex did. The poor brunette could barely walk in a straight line when Piper ushered her to the guest room to tuck her in. When Piper made a move to leave the brunette's side, Alex stretched out an arm to grab the blonde's wrist. It was then when Alex asked her to stay. And stay she did.

Piper remained still for a few more minutes for fear of waking up the brunette, who was currently breathing down her neck. She wanted to stay in bed a little while longer, but her bladder was starting to protest. Slowly, Piper untangled herself from Alex and made her way towards the dresser. After grabbing the grey hoodie and the black shorts that she always wore when she slept over, she proceeded to the bathroom to pee and clean herself up.

After she stepped out of the bathroom, the blonde spent a while contemplating whether to get back into bed, to wake up the brunette, or to go downstairs. She finally decided on doing the latter, thinking that Alex deserved a few more minutes of sleep. Before leaving the room, she left a set of clothes by the foot of the bed for the brunette to change into when she woke up.

* * *

The sight of a redhead perusing the newspaper while sitting on a stool by the kitchen counter was what welcomed Piper when she stepped into the kitchen.

"Read anything interesting?"

Nicky looked up to meet Piper's gaze and flashed her signature smirk. "Guess who made it to the paper today."

"Who?"

"I just told you to _guess_. Jeez, you're really no fun in the morning," Nicky said, handing the paper over for Piper to see.

Piper found herself looking at a photo of her best friend beaming in front of a painting while surrounded by a small group of people. The accompanying article was a short feature on last night's event.

"_'Nichols successfully introduced a unique new taste to the contemporary art scene,'_" Piper quoted. "Wow. Someone actually put your name and the word 'successful' next to each other. That's a first."

"Right? Beats me," Nicky scoffed.

Piper grinned. "Seriously, though, I'm proud of you," she said, pulling the redhead into a tight hug.

"Thanks, Blondie," she chuckled. "But if you really mean it, you're going to make me coffee. And some waffles. And eggs."

"Such a user," Piper groaned, but proceeded to the coffee machine anyway.

Since Piper has spent countless nights sleeping over at Nicky's loft, she knew the place like it was her own. Cooking in Nicky's kitchen felt like it was part of her routine. It was all too familiar to the blonde, and she always found comfort in that fact.

She finished up quickly and set a plate for her best friend, who immediately started wolfing it down.

Nicky shot Piper a look when she noticed that the blonde set a third plate aside.

"Who's that for?" she asked, nodding towards the plate.

"Not for you, obviously," the blonde replied.

"But I'm still hungry. This is my house, my food, so I have every right to it more than you do."

"You're not even close to finishing your own plate yet," Piper pointed out. "If you're still hungry after eating that, I'll give you my waffle if it'll shut you up."

"Fine. I'll hold you to that."

"Fine."

They ate in silence for the next few minutes until Nicky spoke up again.

"So."

"So."

"You and Lex, huh?" Nicky asked, smirking at the blonde.

Piper fought back a smile. "What about it?"

"Don't be coy about it, Chapman. Spill it. You don't want me revoking your Floor Six access, do you?"

"Are you blackmailing me?" Piper exaggerated a gasp.

"Maybe I am," the redhead shrugged.

Piper took a deep breath and was about to get into the story when she heard someone call out her name. Nicky raised her eyebrows at the blonde and turned her head around just in time to see Alex descending the stairs.

"So _that's_ who the extra plate is for," she said to Piper, smirking. "I didn't realize she slept over as well."

"Morning, Nix," Alex said, smiling as she draped an arm over the redhead's shoulder.

"And she's wearing my clothes too," Nicky added, earning a laugh from the tall brunette. Alex was sporting a black cotton V-neck tee and flannel pajamas, which were too short for her.

"As if you're not used to letting your other special lady friends borrow your clothes all the time after a _sleepover_," Piper said.

Nicky held her hands up. "Touché."

"Good morning," Alex whispered as she walked up behind Piper, who was leaning against the opposite side of the kitchen counter. Her hands quickly found their base on Piper's hips as she leaned in to peck Piper on the cheek.

"Too early for PDA, don't you think?" Nicky teased, faking a disgusted look on her face. "Wait. You two didn't make a mess in my guest room, did you? Is my headboard still intact?"

"_No_," Piper answered rather too quickly, eyes shooting daggers at her friend.

"'No' as in you didn't make a mess or 'no' as in you destroyed my headboard?"

"'No' as in you need to shut your mouth before I introduce my fist to your face," the blonde threatened.

"Alright, fine. Just checking," Nicky replied. "Anyway, now that I think about it, I would have realized it then while it was happening, knowing how loud you get and all."

"_Nicky!_" Piper exclaimed, blushing crimson.

Alex wrapped an arm around Piper's waist and burst out laughing as she held her other hand up to high-five the hysterical redhead.

"So, Lex, what's been going on with you?" Nicky asked the brunette after she recovered.

"Nothing much," Alex shrugged. "I got into the music industry like we talked about when we were younger. I run my own studio, look for fresh talents, organize gigs, and manage a few minor and major concerts every now and then."

"Living the dream then, eh?"

Alex merely shrugged in response. She turned her attention to Piper, who pointed to the plate of food next to her, urging her to eat.

"So, now that you're a music producer or something, can you, like, maybe get me free concert tickets? Like to Snoop Dogg or something?" Nicky inquired, wiggling her eyebrows at the brunette.

"Only if you're nice to me."

"Hey, I'm always nice to you! When am I ever not nice to you? I am the nicest person on earth."

"Not when you broke the one and only promise you made to me and told Piper about _the_ _thing_. I still need to get you back for that."

"Okay. I promise to never bring up the pork chop incident ever again," Nicky said. At the mention of 'pork chop', Piper started giggling.

"Fuck you, Nichols." Alex turned to Piper and added, "And you need to stop laughing!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Piper mumbled, a huge grin still plastered on her face.

"By the way, how's your mom? I hope you had the decency to make her stop working now that you're making big money by yourself," Nicky asked, changing the subject.

"She's alright. However, I don't think I can ever make that woman sit still. She's still baking and she's earning money from that. She's managing a shop downtown. At least, now, she's actually enjoying her work, you know?"

"_Oh, my god_. I need the Vause special sans rival back in my life. Please tell me she still makes that wonderful piece of heaven. I'll give up a limb to have another taste of that."

"She does," Alex laughed. "I'll hook you guys up."

"Awesome," the redhead said as she got up from the chair. "Now, as much as I would like to stay and chat, I got a lovely lady waiting for me in the bedroom."

"Wait, what? Did you actually—" Piper began.

"You're damn right I did," Nicky answered smugly, turning her back away from the pair.

"Tell Lorna I said 'good morning,'" Piper grinned.

Nicky stopped in her tracks and turned around to face them again. "Yo, Vause. Still know how to cook?"

"It's actually very difficult to unlearn cooking, Nicky," the brunette shot back.

"Good, 'cause you're making us lunch," the redhead ordered. "Whip up some of that chicken pesto you're such an expert at making. Cook some of that buttered chicken thing as well. And make some salad 'cause, apparently, Lorna's _vegan_ now," Nicky said, rolling her eyes. "I believe you'll find everything you need in the pantry."

"Wait, you can cook?" asked Piper.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Alex snapped back, raising an eyebrow at the blonde.

"I don't know," Piper shrugged. "I just never pegged you as someone who liked to bother messing around in the kitchen."

"Oh, trust me when I say I love getting messy in the kitchen," Alex said without missing a beat. She turned to the smiling blonde and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at her.

"Gross," Nicky said as she turned away from the pair. "No sex on the counter, children," she called out before walking away, leaving Alex and Piper in the kitchen.

The pair fell into a comfortable silence while Alex searched around the kitchen to gather the ingredients. Sure enough, she found everything she needed. She grabbed some chicken breasts from the fridge, placed them in a bowl, and began seasoning them. Too lazy to put on plastic gloves, she moved to the sink to quickly wash her hands before she began kneading the chicken in the bowl.

She turned her head to give a quick glance at the blonde, who was now perched on the kitchen counter; her blue eyes trained on Alex's busy hands.

"Having fun watching me knead _breasts_, Piper?" Alex teased.

Piper flushed when she noticed how Alex put emphasis on the word 'breasts.' She was certain the brunette was thinking about last night's events, particularly the part where Alex was pushing her against the wall and Piper was _clawing _at the brunette's boob rather desperately.

Evading the question, Piper immediately changed the subject. "I thought buttered chicken was easy to make? Why do you still have to season it with all those spices?"

"Well, I have different ways of doing things. I assure you, though, it's going to be the best breasts you will ever get to taste."

"I doubt it," Piper mumbled under her breath, her voice low and dripping with lust, not fully realizing that she just said that out loud.

"I heard that," Alex said, turning her head to wink at the blonde, who immediately flushed crimson again.

After setting aside the chicken to marinate, Alex washed her hands and began collecting the ingredients for the salad. She set a big bowl on the counter next to Piper and began tossing the green vegetables in.

"What kind of salad are you making?" Piper asked.

"Simple garden salad. Why? What did you want me to make?"

"I don't know. Caesar?"

"Piper, please," Alex scoffed. "Didn't you know that you could easily make _any_ salad into a Caesar salad?"

"What do you mean? How?" Piper asked with a puzzled look on her face. She watched as Alex raised a fork up in front of her.

"You just need to stab it enough," the brunette said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Piper threw her head back as she erupted into laughter.

"_Jesus_, Alex," the blonde breathed in between fits of giggles. "Come here," Piper whispered as she pulled the brunette towards her. Wrapping both her legs around Alex's waist, she snaked her arms around the brunette's neck and slowly tugged her closer until their lips met.

Piper was still in a daze when she pulled away from the smirking brunette. She took a moment to stare into beautiful green eyes before breaking into a huge grin and finally finding her voice to speak again.

"You're a fucking _idiot_, you know that?"

* * *

A/N: It's been a _while_. I know. I'm really sorry. Life happened and it decided to beat me up and kick the living daylights out of me in the past month.

If anyone is still reading this, I would just like to thank you guys for being patient, especially to the select few who took the time to remind me to get my ass back to writing this story (you know who you guys are *wink*). I'm still a little clueless as how I want to proceed with this, but I promise to do my best to keep everything light and fluffy because I believe we already have enough angst going on in this fandom to last us a lifetime, don't you agree? Don't get me wrong, though, I fucking love angst. I just don't think I can justify the genre with my writing style.

As usual, I'd love to hear from you guys. Your reviews never fail to make my day. Cheers!


End file.
